Age Appropriate

Is this concept lost on men? Few will realize the dream of banging a barely legal, so stop asking. As men get older, I seem to be a part of the pool of supple young things. Do me a favor fellas... answer these questions before you approach.

1. Are you old enough to have fathered me?
2. Are you a grandparent to anyone my age?
3. Have you been drinking?

If the answer is yes to any of these questions, please don't approach.

And the winner is......your choice!!!

Greetigs - Beth here!! We've gotten all sorts of creative responses to the disaster relief ad. Meg gave you a brief preview with the note from the married nurse...and her brilliant response. Seriously buddy, get a life. Although as you see, many of the fellas that responded need help, in terms of therapy and getting a life. We had a few generic responses i.e.: Hi I'm Chuck, liked you ad, here's my pict! - Fuck you Chuck. You email everyone on cragistlist. Move on. Then you get the pervs. Then you get the funny pervs. Then you get the ones that are down on their luck but are still on craigslist looking for a lay. On the other hand, others included on this list got the joke and praised the authors. I included these just to make us look better than we already do.

Enjoy! (and lets discuss later!)


”quite possible the funniest post ive read on craigs list. if your serious or not i have no idea, but please keep up the great work.”


“what about pending disasters? i'm getting ready to hunker down for the bird flu pandemic. maybe if we like the same canned foods, bottled water and board games we can share a bunker. ;-)”

“I assure u I will cherish the box”

“Wow!If there were a contest for the most creative post on CL .. this one surely takes the cake.I'm all yours to help. .”

“hmmmm.....i'm a disaster...lol terry”

“After reading your ad I have been demolishing my house with a sledge hammer so I can get some of your FEMA assistance. I'm 41, 6'6", 215. Get out the red cross doughnuts baby. – Tom”

“How about helping a man with Erectile dysfunction?”

“Nice post! I'm Robert. I am smiling from ear to ear. I could use a good friend. I have had a really tough time over the last 18 months. I lost my dad to cancer, which tore our family apart. I lost my job at the same time from taking care of dad and missing toomuch work. I have only been able to find p/t work since then. Now, my mom is going to die from cancer. All of my friends were all co workers, have their own lives, live in the burbs and really just stay in their own worlds. There's so much more. I still smile though. I still keep trying to move forward. I have been staying on a friends couch for 4 months now and it's getting old. ANd I think she's getting tired of it as well. I could use a break and a change. I'm hoping that a job lead will fall through. I really miss working f/t. I'm a designer of kitchens and bathrooms. I love it. I miss it. I want to create again. Heck, I just want a really good friend to talk to and feed off of each other. MOtivate, inspire, etc,. I have tons of interests. I have a great dog. I have great potential. Hell, I just want someone special to rock me like a hurricane! IN return? You'll see..I have a heart of gold, true class, and think that despite all the turmoil, I'm still one of the best guys around. This is me minus the goatee. I'm home and will be online a little. On and off. Let me know if you want to talk. Maybe we can meet up later tonight? I hope you have a great day!”

“Hey there,Funny post, can you help me store some things if I wasn't in a natural disaster, but rather a meltdown of other sorts? I own a sales co. that sells to the auto industry which is in the toilet right now. I had to let my employees go yesterday. I will take them back under contract employment as I need them and have taken great care of them while they worked for me. They were very loyal and I was very rewarding, it was a great relationship that I hope to be able to recover.In the meantime, I came across your ad and thought it might just be some good medicine to find someone fun right now, no hand-outs, I'm not desperate, but sure would be nice to get my mind out of here for a while. Any interest? Steve”

“I do need relief and a box to put my thing into, but it has nothing to do with a disaster. Lets meet for a drink and start to help each other.”

“Just curious, dear, what about those who have self inflicted injuries, andwho will repeat the process again and again, do you help those people?Also, have you ever heard of a neighborhood that did not go down hill whenblacks start moving in? If so where is that neighborhood at?Sincerely, Charles”


All around brilliant, I think. We might post the results back on craigstlist and see what happens. I love the internet.

Cry Me a River

As promised, here's an email we got in response to the disaster relief CL ad:

You're a Craigs list Philanthropist after my own heart TGIF and friendly greetings to you!

Your ad brought a ray of sunshine to this 36 year old north shore nursing student. I'm married and a stay-at-home Dad/neglected house husband. Just wanted to shoot you a funny cartoon and an appreciatve note. Reading Craigslist has been helpful in keepin my sanity and my perspective on life.

I wish ya well and heck I'd even love the opportunity to share some positive chemistry notes with you some time.

Regards,
Greg

There was a photo attached. My reply to him:

I don't think CL is the place to gain perspective on life, Greg.
You're married. You shouldn't be emailing single women your picture.
I don't care how desperate and neglected you feel. Talk to your wife
about it. Not me. Maybe go to a counselor.

Cry me a fuckin river, Greg. And then go clean your bathroom floor
with the tears. Really now- your kids deserve more than a dad who's
sending his picture to single women on the personals.

Disgustedly yours,
Meg

dear diary,

i couldn't be happier to join this disaster relief blog. i'm not much of a blogger but i'll try anything once, even a high pitched sex talker.

i'm thinking with a little time and a lot of great stories, this could be the next indiebride. people coming to us for our expert advice on attracting and repelling the best and the worst of 2006.

i'm ready to begin posting. i've been in quite a dry spell for the last two years; but when it rains it pours and it's winter in san francisco, so get out your umbrellas.

currently, i find myself dealing with two (and a half) men. the first being a high pitched sex talker who throws around the term deuche bag like he is a walking ad for Massengill. the other being a guy i became friends with about six months ago and am just short of in love with his best friend (he's the half, since he is uninterested in me). i know, ladies, don't be too jealous of me. right now, i'm alternating their days and hoping not to repeat conversations i had with one the previous evening. i keep cliff notes on my inner arm.

well, i just got back from a nice day with above said half man. we went for a morning run in the park and then down to the ferry building farmer's market for some outside breakfast and organice produce shopping. it is an absolutely gorgeous day after weeks of grey skies and rain. it was enough to make me moist on a dry day.

maggie

Relieving Disaster

The best thing about dating is overanalyzing the hell out of it with my friends afterwards. Honestly. Last weekend I was sitting in a coffee shop with two friends talking about the ridicularity of a dude who has a high pitched dirty talk voice. We were all snorting our coffee we were laughing so hard. We were LOLing, if you will. If I'm out on a date and the guy is a loud laugher, or busts a "I work hard and play hard" the only thing that prevents me from dying of embarassment, is the thought, "I can not freaking way to tell the gals about this fella."

I feel lucky. I've got a job I'm happy with, I'm in good health, I have excellent friends and family and manage to do fun things with my free time. Sometimes I complain about being single and the whole dating thing, but really- it's not a bad place to be. Meeting new people all the time. Some of them are truly good dudes. Some of them really know their way around the boudoir. And others are so ridiculous that it's just comedy gold.

Why not share the joy? The other day, Beth and I were lamenting the lameass posts on CL and all these gals whose postings just reak of desperation and lack humor of any kind. So, we got an idea for an inappropriate but funny post and went with it. Let it be known that is the first and only fake post I've sent to CL, but I just had to see what the reaction would be. We were happy to see that everyone who responded appreciated the humor.

Subject: Disaster Relief

let's face it- nothing can really repair the damage done by the recent natural disasters, but i'm happy to try to help a man in need.

down on your luck? lost your house in katrina? tornado rip through your trailer last weekend? sitting in your yard trying to piece your life back together? well, let me help you, because i've got a box for you to put your junk in.

i'll rock you like a hurricane, but this time it won't kill your dog.

me: 30, slim, light brown hair, green eyes, fun, loyal, spontaneous, and always out to help those in need.


Stay tuned for a great email exchange that ensued.

This is a test post...yes lame. But we're new to this. And our blog shouldn't look like a disaster, just describe our dating lives. Which happen to be disasterous. Enjoy!